I'm all gone

What other choice do I have?

It's honestly hard for me because things took a turn when I least expected it. You probably have no idea what it's like to lose something that you value more than anything else in this world. Maybe you've heard it all before, or perhaps been through a similar ordeal somehow.

I'm not gonna lie anymore. At least not this time. I think you people are right. It's so obvious that I haven't left the spot. I was engulfed with adversity that I failed to notice how visible it actually is. For once, I'm gonna stop being in denial. I admit that I've been shutting myself out from people. Disappear. Go missing. I'm not  inflicting anything, don't get me wrong. I just...I just don't see any good in myself anymore. My self-worth is all bruised and battered.

Why?

Because I was told that I'm ....... (not gonna reveal, sorry). Coming from someone I've always looked up to, someone who inspire me, I believed. I'm gonna spend the rest of my life believing, because it's a fact. It's the sole reason why it has all come to this. I'll never forget that feeling.

I'm really gonna have to fix myself. Big time.

This is actually harder than I thought. It gets tougher every single day. I'm totally ruptured, and there's nothing I can do.

To be honest, I know it's not my fault. I'm never the fucked up one. But I'm overwhelmed with guilt. I shouldn't have ever crossed that line, because it has all led to this. The demise, the discovery, the loss...

I used to be so strong.