Never simple, never easy

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(Cr here)

I really don't like this highly oversensitive person that I think I'm slowly turning into. I reflect on this, a lot. Though it's probably not an excuse, I really feel that it's mostly circumstantial. Trust is basis, trust is key. But sometimes I can't help but to just think of all the other possibilities. What ifs, mostly. & then the mind starts to wander. And the thoughts start pouring out. Some things I'll try to contain. But at times it really gets overwhelming.

More than ever, I worry most about people getting tired of me. Of all my insecurities. Of all my ridiculous need for comfort and affirmation. I think one day, people will just get sick and tired of giving me the assurance I need. Because I should've known better, right? Because time is not exactly on either side, and people probably have more important things to do than to constantly reassure me. 

There are so many things that happened, so many things I'd wanna say, so many things I'd love to share, but I can't. Because life doesn't just revolve around me.

I don't know what else I'd do. I just don't wanna lose the one I really love and treasure most. But that is really beyond me.

Sigh.

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